This morning I was in a computer lab at school, and I had just finished writing a play review and had printed it out. I reached for my little stapler and when I had it in my hands, I realized it was broken! So I decided to fix it myself, because I needed to staple my papers together for class.

The bit where you put the staples in was separated from the actual stapler shell, and wouldn't fit back in, so I used both my thumbs to push it back while the rest of my hands was pushing forward - and then I stapled myself. Each thumb was positioned over where the two spikes of the staple come out, so I had caught one thumb on either side of one staple. It had gone right through my thumbs.

So after a moment of whimpering and complete bewilderment, I dropped the stapler on the floor, and yanked the staple out with my teeth (my hands being fucking stapled, I couldn't just pull it out). As soon as the staple was free from my flesh, ridiculous amounts of blood shot out of my hands - and so I wiped it all on my pants.

After that, I washed my hands and called my mom collect to tell her what happened. She was proud.